The strength in Vulnerability

Earlier this year, our company went through a round of lay-offs. It was the most difficult 90 mins in a place where I have spent over eight years. Our CEO choked on the call as he made the announcement. This was the first time, I had seen a man I have looked up to most of professional life, be so vulnerable and it filled me up too. It is today, months after we have processed the news, after a late-night conversation with a friend last night that I realised the enormity of the moment.

As a culture, globally we are driven, hard-wired to survive. There is a reason it is called a survivor's instinct. It is due to this reason that we are taught that a show of strength is perhaps the benchmark of our mettle. But I disagree. Our biggest strength is not when we are strongest and stoic, but perhaps when we are willing to be exposed and vulnerable.

Acknowledging your humanity

I lost both my parents at an extremely young age. It teaches you things. Important life lessons about how you need people that protect you and have your singular best interests at heart. But I have never understood the need to say "I do not miss them?" I do not understand how you go about not missing someone that was an integral part of your life.

How long have we been told, that expression of grief needs to be in private? I have never understood the culture of not being able to express loss. Why must we show that we are ok? Why must I say that all is well when all we want to do is hold this person in my arms? Why should we not acknowledge that someone meant something and their absence left a big void?

Why must I show that I am ok? Why must I say that all is well when all I want to do is hold this person in my arms?

To me acknowledging any form of grief is acknowledging the humanity in each one of us. Acknowledging that we are capable of hurting and are also able to carry on despite the hurt.

Finding the courage

So your heart was broken. Perhaps for the Nth time. Or this was your first or second or even the third big failure and the road ahead appears choppy, full of uncertainties. Life will always give you two choices.

Go back to the safety and complacency of your familiarities. This one is easy, convenient, and comfortable. It won't challenge you or bring out your passion, but it will keep you perfectly happy.

OR you can learn your lessons and follow your heart once more. See if you are brave enough to take the leap once more. Follow your gut or even open your heart. It will not be easy or a cakewalk by any stretch. Remember the survivor's instinct? This one while making you strive to survive also instills fear.

Fear makes you avoid the things that brought you to your knees. Fear, makes you say to yourself, "I am fine and I do not need more". Fear makes you content in your complacency. The important thing to ask yourself is if you want to move beyond your fear and take a chance in life. There is no judgement if you don't. There is no judgement if you have had enough and don't want to tread the same path. Just acceptance of your own choices.

Be proud of your vulnerability

I have been the biggest advocate of dusting myself and getting back up. When my daughter was a toddler and would scrape her knee. I would soothe her and then tell her "You will only learn when you fall" and send her right back out. It is something she follows till today. And I have re-learned that from her in recent years.

Vulnerability is strength. It is not a weakness. Much as it might appear to the rest of the world. Against all better judgement. Vulnerability makes you human and makes you realise how fragile life is.

So it is ok. All jokes and thoughts and cares apart. You know you have the ability to feel. To hurt to bleed and there is something or someone that means more than your ownself.

It takes another set of courageous steps to leap forward into the void. You might crash and burn but at least you would have done that on your own terms.

There is freedom waiting for you on the breezes of the sky. And you ask, "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?

It took courage on the part of a man who is an industry icon to show that we stumbled. It takes courage for someone with a broken heart to put themselves back out there. It takes courage for an alcoholic to come out in the open and accept who they are.

It takes courage to accept you are hurting. And that my friend is why your vulnerability is freaking awesome!!